My Staying Curious Journey
There are a lot of new faces around here — thought I’d say hi and share a bit of this newsletter’s journey! (subscribe here)
Moving Provinces
On October 1, 2022, I loaded everything I owned into a U-Haul and journeyed from Saskatchewan to British Columbia to teach my first class of 19 students in Conflict Management at Columbia Bible College. It was a bold move to relocate across the country to a place with a much higher cost of living for a sessional instructor role. I was recovering from my own relational wounds and, in a fog of naivety and self-determination, trusted that whatever lay ahead would be better than my current situation. Any doubts were quelled by friends and family, who eagerly supported me by reminding me of my strengths. My desire was to help people understand and navigate conflict, and I hoped the path to do so would reveal itself.
Starting the Staying Curious Newsletter
In January 2023, I began writing the Staying Curious newsletter. What started as sporadic postings whenever inspiration struck turned into a consistent channel for sharing my insights on managing conflict. Since then, this newsletter has grown from a small group of 15 friends and family to a curious community of over 130 people and counting. I’m grateful to share this metaphorical kitchen table with you. When I write, I imagine it as a conversation, and I'm encouraged when you reply with reflections, questions, or comments on the topics at hand.
Writing about conflict often brings out the messiness in the stories we share. For those who have entrusted me with the intricacies and pains of your stories, I grieve with you. I understand how many bear the scars of mishandled conflicts. Many of you began with genuine attempts to dialogue around differences, hoping for learning, growth, and strengthened relationships, but instead became casualties of dismissed, minimized, or hastily resolved issues. I hold your stories as tender motivation to help people seek understanding, ask questions, and be curious in a way that not only prevents destructive conflict but also facilitates change and transformation.
What I Do Now
People often ask what exactly I do. In simplest terms, I help people get unstuck. More specifically, I do this through consulting, mediating, speaking, or training. Individuals, teams, and communities can find themselves stuck in patterns of conflict, and it can help to have a third party to gain perspective and to facilitate a process to help people find a way through. If we pay attention, the nuances of conflict are present in our daily lives. Whether latent or manifest, interpersonal or intrapersonal, the things important to us cause us to defend when we feel threatened. In each instance, we face the decision to escalate or de-escalate the situation, and these choices shape us and our communities. Through this newsletter, I hope we embrace practices that make us more curious, especially through the dynamics that can easily keep us stuck.
My Hopes
I’m thankful for those of you who have joined this community. I hope that through subtle, daily shifts, we are being shaped into people who:
Notice their emotions and explore their meanings
Develop deeper relationships by seeking to understand rather than waiting to respond
Make more informed and discerning decisions
Cultivate healthier workplaces by engaging with complexity
Talk to people rather than about them
Develop greater resilience and tenacity through navigating challenges
Mitigate trends of social isolation and polarity
Live counter-culturally by staying curious