The Elephant of Polarization

Let’s use the lens of Conflict Agility to explore the Elephant of Polarization—an issue stretching us further apart and making it harder to see others' points of view.

Pause & Going In

Conflict Agility begins with a pause, a moment in tense situations to breathe, feel, and get curious about what’s stirring within. When you feel that knot in your stomach, use it as an invitation to notice where tension resides in your body, the emotions rising, and the source behind them.

When you consider the impact of polarization on your life, what surfaces for you?

Go Up: Pain Points

Going Up involves a broader look at the conflict system and the interconnected elements influencing it. To gain a picture of what is going on, one can explicitly name the neutral elements, and the pain points that are creating the social container one is navigating.

You don’t have to look far to see evidence of polarization around you. It can feel cathartic to inflame issues, and often it’s the path of least resistance to simply agree with the loudest opinion in the room. This can make the job of naming the pain points easier, but no less troubling.

Watching our neighbours to the south this past week especially highlights the way political polarization can divide a nation into rigid, opposing sides. A quick scroll through social media shows a whirlwind of content: posts berating others for staying silent, provocative headlines, or divisive “stances” that strip complex issues into soundbites.

It can feel exhausting and disorienting, creating a digital world dominated by loud voices that reduce contentious issues to black-and-white slogans. Yet what’s disheartening is how these voices rarely create space for the real learning that could foster genuine understanding.

Additionally, algorithms reinforce our existing beliefs, feeding into our natural confirmation bias that influences us to see more of what we already think. Add to this our “tribal” tendency to conform to group views without thinking critically, and the result is often a skewed reality that promotes an “us vs them” divide.

As a result, we’re quick to dismiss those we assume see things differently, choosing to insulate ourselves with people who share our beliefs. To bridge this divide, we are required to converse, but as we discussed in our last newsletter, it’s often easier to “cancel” someone who holds a different opinion.

Key to developing Conflict Agility is naming these pain points—like divisive algorithms, cancel culture, and groupthink—so we can recognize their polarizing effects. We need to sit with these points long enough to understand them deeply but not to remain stuck.

When you Go Up and consider polarization in your life, what pain points come to your mind? What’s at stake?

Leverage: A Call for the Moderates & Nuanced Thinking

With insights from Going In and Going Up, we gain perspective on potential leverage points for positive change. Reflecting on societal patterns fuelling polarization, I see two significant leverage points: the role of moderates and the value of nuance. Moderates can hold the tension between extremes, bridging divides rather than reinforcing them. Additionally, appreciating nuance—recognizing the spectrum of beliefs and behaviours on every issue—stretches our capacity for empathy. It opens space for understanding people beyond labels, more accurately reflecting reality. By looking past binary thinking, we tap into the motivations and experiences behind others’ views.

Instead of pointing fingers, moderates can challenge divisive patterns from within their groups. Trusted voices within groups, moderates hold the power to shift perspectives among their own.

For me, one of the clearest examples of a moderate voice is my dad. Known for his ability to gather people around difficult conversations, he’s always been a grounding influence. Growing up, he’d often advise me, “Don’t dig ditches on either side. Stay on the road.” During my fiery undergraduate years, his perspective taught me to hold tension, balancing my passion with an open mind and a commitment to respectful dialogue. He modelled how it’s possible to care deeply while inviting others to the conversation.

Go Out: Acting on Leverage Points

With our leverage points in view, the next step is discerning where we can act and how to position ourselves effectively.

In my spheres, I find encouragement in moderates breaking the cycle. Friends gathering around a table to discuss the U.S. election, voicing both their emotions and frustration with divisive rhetoric. Instead of arguing, they express a desire for constructive conversation.

Or a client, facing accusations, responds with curiosity, not defensiveness. Rather than escalating, they seek understanding, bringing people together for candid dialogue.

These took place within a span of a week, and they remind me that another way is possible.

Who are the moderates in your life? How could you encourage them to use their voices on the polarizing issues you’re noticing?

When you consider your own communities, how can you build bridges?

Holding the Tension

Like any of the elephants we’ve named so far (injustice, groupthink, cancel culture, and now polarization), societal patterns like these won’t be “fixed.” If our goal is simply to resolve them, we risk quick fixes or bandaid approaches. Large-scale issues like polarization call us to hold the tension. When two opposing sides drift apart, we need to stand firm in the middle, challenging black-and-white thinking and adding the shades of grey that make understanding possible.

The goal of naming these elephants isn’t to amplify them but to equip us to recognize and address them in our own lives. Through curiosity, dialogue, and the commitment to nuanced perspectives, each of us can help shift the patterns that divide us.

Stay Curious,

Jodi